Captain's Log
by Countess of Darkness
Summary: I was just wondering what Captain Jack was thinking when he was marroned on the island. So I wrote a oneshot about what his journal might say...Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Carribean.


Manpreet Kaur Sandhu

May 3, 2007

Period 3

Captain's Log

God Knows What Day it is…maybe its Monday…or Thursday… or Tuesday…Or Monday…damn I forgot the fifth one

I'm stuck on this goddamned island and have been so for the past four days and I have had nothing to eat. Course who cares about that…the notorious Captain Jack Sparrow can go for weeks without food. No, what's getting to me is the rum withdrawal. Even the bloody trees look like bottles of rum. I think there is something wrong with even the ocean…its turning all brown…like RUM!!! I have to sleep and maybe a psychiatrist.

2 Days later…maybe, I'm too drunk to tell…

You maybe wondering how I am drunk when there is no rum but hah…Jack Sparrow does have the luck of the devil. I found rum! Good old grandmum was right…there is a God. Although a normal person might be wondering what the hell he's doing answering the prayers of a pirate…someone should go tell him that he ought to be helping the poor and the hungry and all the other wimps. The devil is the only person a pirate needs. And the Flying Dutchman; although it's best to be a bit wary of him…and anyone else who has a Kraken. Anyway, the devil's luck is all I need…after all, it helped me find a cellar full of rum. Now I can lie here for weeks without any worries. I suppose my body may need food at some point. Oh well, at least there aren't any cannibals here.

4 days later…I think

I'm so bored I'd almost welcome the cannibals. Well, not really but at least I'd have human, preferably female, company. Although the part women seem to fight most attractive is my left cheek. I wonder why they never ever slap the right cheek. Ahh well…I suppose I might deserve it sometimes…not that often though. However, I don't think I can be blamed if women are so dang emotional; sometimes I think PMS is actually a month long thing and those few days are just an excuse. Oh well, nothing gets rid of your sorrows like rum!

Next Day… I believe, but I may have slept longer because of all the rum…

I'm getting so bored because there is absolutely nothing to on this island. Even writing out your thoughts in the said with a stick gets boring after a while. I know many people who may drop dead of surprise if they should find out I know how to write (too bad Barbarossa isn't one of those people) and write. I know it may be hard to believe but there used to be a time when I might gone into a "noble" profession. But then I realized that at least when we pirates kill someone we're honest about it and willing to take the blame; ever hear of a doctor or lawyer who took the blame for killing someone. No one realizes that being a pirate is an actual profession; you have to work hard at it. There's a huge difference between saying 'I'm gonna steal that ship,' when your drunk and then making what you said happen. Why am I thinking so hard? It's clear thinking that's always a man's downfall. Being impulsive and a little crazy is the only reason I have gotten to where I am, which admittedly is not a very good position I suppose…

One week later…I assume

Finally I can get off this god-forsaken Island. The men who owned the rum finally came by. They weren't too happy when they saw the missing rum. (Some of the younger Midshipmen did seem a bit amazed that a single man could drink so much rum.) Of course, I did try to tell them that it wasn't me and that the monkeys had been swaggering around like drunkards but they didn't believe me. The captain thought he recognized me from a wanted poster but he offered me a ride to Trinidad (which conveniently happens to be right off the coast of Tortuga) and I accepted his gracious offer to let me sleep in the brig because I've been in worse places. Right now all care about is revenge; I have to pay Barbarossa back for marooning me on this island. But, I think my revenge can wait until after they are all cursed and need me and realize what fool that Barbarossa is. Then they will learn to value the Marvelous Captain Jack Sparrow!!!


End file.
